Number 10: Rez. (2002, Dreamcast)

    

The game's 2002 box art



Whoa. This wasn't easy.

Out of the ten most favorite games I have decided to put on my list, I have to order them from least favorite to most favorite right? ("Well, that's kinda how a top ten list works right? I mean duuuh", says the snarky reader. "Screw you. Now dance for me.", says the all powerful blog author.)

But anyway, as I said, this wasn't easy. Why? Because if I could travel back in time and mention that I would someday put Rez 10th on a list of my most favorite games of all time, I would get slapped.

By my past self. I would actually get slapped by my past self. Yeah.

But anyway, about the game itself.

Rez puts you in the role of a computer programmer who has been tasked with the job of purging "Eden", a computer network that monitors all the world's data and information, (who by the way, has become self-aware), from the viruses that are trying to tear it down. These viruses only got there in the first place BECAUSE Eden became self aware, the realisation of it's (her?) own existence sent her mad you see. However, the story rarely pops up during the main gameplay, it's all really just an excuse to shove you head first into a world of colour and sound.

A beautiful, amazing, vibrant world of colour and sound.



So pwetty... and seizure inducing.



If Rez had to be bottled up into a genre it would undoubtedly be an on-rails shooter, you move automatically through trails and rooms made up of lines and shapes and flashes and splashes of colour that strangely resemble the architecture of long lost civilizations, (a reference, maybe, to the memories that Eden has stored inside her?), while blasting away at strange and bizarrely wonderful "virus" creatures, from battleships patched together from nothing but basic shapes and discs, to huge disco mirror balls and giant pulsating snakes created from nothing but simple cubes. Levels begin as simple and plain corridors, but gradually evolve and morph into dizzying structures and grand buildings. There are some truly amazing set pieces here, the most notable being the encounter at the end of Area 4, where you face off against a giant running figure while a techno-rock beat blasts into your ears.



If you can tell what's going on here, you're officially stoned.



Which brings me to the game's soundtrack. Just like the visuals gain added detail and substance as you progress through a level, so does the level's music. Every new segment you clear adds a new beat, an extra rhythm, and each part complements the whole, until eventually you are floating through a sea of excellent techno wonder. It's perfectly integrated into the game's mechanics, every note that hits your ears causes your floating avatar to pulse, every shot you fire adds extra sound, and each and every enemy makes a different sound when hit. The track will never be the same each time you play. Sound and images become almost one as play continues, merging together into something new, something magnificent, which is what the game actually intended to acheive. And it's something that no other game has been able to replicate since.

I think I've made it quite obvious why I love this game, but I did put it this low on my list for a reason. Sorry past self, but this game is just too short. An experienced player an beat the game from start to finish in about an hour without too much trouble. But I'm not making this list to focus on a game's faults, I'm here to give it the praise it deserves.

So what if it's short? I'd gladly play it through again right now, and love absolutely every mind-boggling, beat blasting, colour drenched moment of it.

See y'all next time.

We apologize for the considerable delay, normal service will resume shortly.

I know I said I was going to begin the first proper page of my book of everything with a list of my top ten games of all time, and that is still the plan, but due to unforeseen circumstances (AKA sheer laziness and a rather large amount of homework) I have yet to get round to posting the first (or should that be last?) entry.

If it's any consolation at all, I HAVE the list of games, I just have to put them into some sort of ordered hierarchy. I also mentioned that  the games in question may not actually be "good" games, but this was a downright lie. Each of the games that have so far made the list all gained rather positive reception when they first came out.

So it turns out my taste is better than I actually thought, but then again games like "Wii Music", "Carnival games", and anything with the word "party" in the title somehow still manage to sell by the bucket load despite being a load of shite. Yes I just swore (I think) on my own blog. Deal with it.

In case you didn't notice, I appear to be in a bit of a mood tonight don't I? Maybe it's because games like "It's my Birthday!" are still on the shelves at Tesco! That would make any self-respecting gamer seethe with rage!

But anyway, I do apologize for the delay, check back within a couple of days (hopefully) for my tenth favourite game of all time!

Book of everything Page I Part 0: My top ten.

Everyone who knows me knows that video games are my life.

That is barely an exaggeration. Ever since the days of the PSOne, when I was three years old, I've been a natural gamer. I might as well have been born with a joy pad in my hand.

But people often ask me a question about gaming that I simply have never been able to answer. The question appears deceptively simple, yet has so many layers! It has more layers than a...than a... What has layers?

Simply put, what is my FAVOURITE GAME?

And an answer, simply put, is that I have several.

What follows over the next ten posts (all to be posted on different days) is a top ten list of my absolute most favourite games of all time. Yes, it was very hard to make, so you had better think it it's pretty freakin' good!!

Now, just because I like a game doesn't mean it's good, not by a long shot. Most of the time I might just have an emotional attachment to that game, (no matter how rubbish it is!), but just bare with me. It's MY list, I'll put whatever the hell I want on there! So yeah! *Sticks tongue out*

But yeah... enough of the obscene immaturity, time to get down to business! I present to you, Jake Percival's top ten games of all time!!

...Just as soon as I get the first bit actually done and posted. Check back in a day or two.

Into the abyss...

Today I was given a task. Actually, it was more than a task, it was QUEST. It was a quest so daring, so perilous, and so downright impossible that only the bravest (or stupidest) dare attempt it. It was a quest so petrifying, that the mere thought of it made me shiver in fright.

The quest? To help tidy my girlfriend's bedroom.

Scoff if you will, but I'd just LOVE to see you give it a try! For you see, what Sophie calls a bedroom, others would call an impassible pit of death. Not an INCH of floor is visible over all the books, scraps of paper, huge pieces of artwork, photographs, mangas (and a variety of other Japanese stuff.), soft toys, work folders, homemade picture frames, boxes boxes and BOXES of random trinkets, and the list goes on and on.

Have you lost something recently? Anything at all? Chances are, you'll find it there. Wilderness explorers searching for cities of lost gold? Already found them. Physicists looking for the ever elusive graviton? It's bound to be here somewhere.

But anyway, yesterday, while tidying this room herself, Sophie came across something she had been looking for for quite a while.

She calls it her "Book of everything". And it contains, well, pretty much everything. From photos and pictures to quotes and anecdotes, Sophie puts in whatever she finds interesting, and Sophie finds a LOT of things interesting! Basically, within the multitude of craziness and awesomeness that is her bedroom, there is another multitude of craziness and awesomeness that is this book, and believe me, it is quite awesome. Barely a single person she's met doesn't have a picture or quote pasted in somewhere, forever immortalised. Don't worry, it's not as creepy as it sounds. She only writes nice stuff.

But the more I think about this "book of everything" idea, the more brilliant it sounds. I need to do something like that, compile things that mean stuff to me. Maybe just random clippings from newspapers I find interesting, or funny things people have said. It's a shame I'm spending most of my free tome doing this blog...

*Light bulb*

This blog is now officially my "Book of everything". Anything i find interesting will wind up here. Videos, images, quotes, you name it. It's a big job, but I'll give it a shot.

Call me crazy, but this just might work.

Here's an equation for you: Mind = Blown

Did you know that the most famous equation in the entirety of physics, is actually completely wrong? A recent video uploaded to youtube by the physics professors at the university of Nottingham explains in full detail.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkiCPMjpysc&feature=sub

Watch it. Now.

Okay, so maybe you won't find it too interesting if you're not a complete physics nerd such as myself, but this equation is important to your very existence, wheather you realize it or not. It's like the guy says, it explains why mass disappears when atoms bond together.

So, what really baffles me is how it got mistranslated to the public. Is the actual equation, E^2=m^2c^4 (assuming momentum = 0) really any different? Is it really SO less catchy that it has no place in the life of the average person? Of course not, but the average person somehow got lazy anyway.

Completely pointless bit of science trivia for you there, but it's time the world knew the truth!

E=mc^2, is a LIE!!!

It's time for some shameless, shameless advertising.

Alright, over the past few posts I have introduced myself, ranted about what bothers me and talked about my crazy past father, but I have done very little in detailing the people I hang out with, who they are and what makes them awesome.

So I think it's about time I jolly well did that, don't you?

If the answer to that last question was "no", don't speak up, you'll ruin my fun.

First and foremost (naturally) is my wonderful girlfriend Sophie's blog! Her posting style is to find an excellent picture on Google images, upload it, then, uhhhhh... say stuff about it. Such classics include images containing phrases such as "I like big books and i can not lie!" and pictures of rather odd squirrels. Tell you what, check it out for yourself in the... doobly doo? Wait no, that's youtube.

Next up is the blog that gave me the inspiration to start THIS blog, so you'd better bloody well give it some respect. (Hooray for threats!!!) Vicky and Jasmin ("Jacky" being their clever nickname), started blogging just a few weeks ago or so, but they have already hosted a wonderful story about a frog named Chris, a short but sweet argument about the benefits and disadvantages of studying science as an A-level subject, and given their rather harsh opinion of the rather un-scary horror flick, "paranormal activity". Link also in the... blog bar? No, that sounds stupid.

Finally is the blog of another friend (and chemistry buddy!) of mine, Rachael. Now, to describe Rachael as an oddity doesn't quite begin to scratch the surface. On the outside she's a sweet, innocent angel... but on the inside she's secretly plotting to take over the world with an army of commando gerbils. That's right Rach. I'm onto you. Link in the... Goddamn it I know that place has an actual name!!!

So, that pretty much sums up everything I had to say. When I come across some more interesting blogs, I'll be very sure to also give them some shameless, shameless advertising!!

See y'all tomorrow!

Me in three years time.

Isn't it strange how little time we, as teenagers, spend thinking about our parents lives before we came along? We almost appear to forget they HAD a life before we were born, or if we do manage to make this realization, we tend not to dwell on it long, for fear of loosing our own sanity.

Today I can safely say I lost that sanity.

You see, some twenty years ago, my dad somehow came to posses a state-of-the-art £500 video camera. It was rubbish by todays standards, but that somehow never occurred to him.

So what did he proceed to do with this state-of-the-art camera?

He had his roommate film him dancing in circles around their flat.
In a biker jacket.
With nothing but one small tuft of hair on his head. (He wasn't quite bald back then.)

He and his roommate edited this footage into a tape, which recently got converted into a DVD, which i recently had the *ahem* "pleasure" of watching.

Now, don't get me wrong, it was funny as hell, but there was something in this footage that scared the living crap out of me. Originally I thought it was simply the shock of seeing my usually sensible father acting like such a spaz (he wasn't even drunk or anything!!), but after some thought, I can now safely say it was something quite different.

In that footage, my dad was only three years older than I am now.

A trivial observation? Maybe, but it raises the type of thoughts that i mentioned previously. Before i was born, my dad very much had a life. (If you call that kind of activity "having a life".) Hell, this wasn't just before I was born, this was before my parents even met, before I even existed!

And yet there's my dad, dancing away on a TV screen, as if it happened yesterday. Soon, I will be at that same point in my life as he was back then, where my life is very much my own.

And maybe, someday afterwards, my children will watch hologram discs of ME, at twenty years of age, being a complete nutcase as well.

Or maybe I'll be a kind parent and realize they'd be better off not knowing.

And now... something for everyone.

Hey folks!

For the very small percentage who will read this blog and not know who i am, (or are too impatient to just scroll down and see who signed this post.) I'm Jake. It's not short for Jacob.

I'm sixteen (nearly seventeen) years old.

I like video games. A hell of a lot. As a matter of fact I'm probably one of the biggest nerds you'll ever meet.

This hypothesis (see the big word i put in there?) is confirmed by the fact I love science. Especially physics.

Despite my long hair, i don't play dungeons and dragons, although i do intend to try it out at some point.

I also love reading, but i having been doing it as much as i would like recently.

And, uhhhh... i can't think of much else. Crap i'm a boring person. :P

Lets talk about something else then. How's life treating you?

Rockband rant!!!

It's not often someone starts off a blog with a rant, (at least not to my knowledge), but i am in the mood for a rant, so rant i shall!!

What has put me in this ranting mood you may ask? If you did actually just ask this question you're obviously not that observant as it's in big letters above this post.

Today i purchased a preowned copy of rockband at GAME for £9.99 and was greatly looking forward to playing it when i got back home. I happen to already own a guitar pheripheral from when i got guitar hero 3 last year, so i thought everything was going to work fine.

Which is, of course, a sure indicator that everythinng is going to go completely wrong.

Well, it didn't go completely wrong, the game worked at least, but the peheripheral wasn't compatible with the game!

I know what you're thinking right now (assuming anyone actually reads this. And thinks things while reading it.) Surely no one could turn something so trivial into a full blown rant?

Just watch me.

Xbox 360 rockbanders get FULL cross-compatability between pheripherals and games, (with i think one exception), but us humble wii owners get NONE of that, oh no!!! We wanna play rockband? We have to buy what Harmonix wants us to buy!! It's a crime is what it is!!!

But at the end of day, i guess what gets to me the most is that it doesn't even make SENSE! It certaintly  doesn't benefit Harmonix or Activision in the long run, but my dad has a theory that nintendo is actually behind this. Nintendo, the same company that brought us Mario, behind such atrocious nonsense? It can't be true, can it? CAN IT????

Well actually it probably could. I've always thought nintendo is actually a greedy money grabber underneath that family freindly exterior! How could you betray us nintendo??? Why?? WHY???

But anyway, those are questions for another day, or at least for another post. I aplogize for the length and rather uninteresting subject of this rant, i promise to write something suitable for EVERYONE for my next post! :P

But until then, stay tuned. This thing will get better, i swear!